Why Spending Some Time Being Alone is a Good Thing

“What? Why being alone? It’s no good being alone like that”. That is what my friend said when he was told that our other friend preferred having some time alone to hanging out with us. That kind of response did not surprise me at all. Often times, people tend to see this “lonely time” as a really painful and unbearable time.

I read this one amazing book titled “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” by Susan Cain. I discovered a lot of things about the personalities of people who are introverts and extroverts. Our society tend to see introverts are the kind of people who are shy, socially awkward or even antisocial. And extroverts are the fun ones; they laugh a lot, like to be the centre of people’s attention, dominant in conversation or simply the life of the party. Before I read this book, that’s what I believed too.

But after I got deeper into this book, I learned that those common views on what introverts and extroverts are, are wrong. Well, not entirely wrong in the sense of, yes, some introverts may be shy. But not everyone who can relate to be an introvert are shy. So, what is it then?

What differentiate introverts and extroverts is the way they recharge themselves. You don’t get what it means? Ok, so you have a cell phone. There will be time or times in a day when you’ll have to let you phone being charged and you may not be able to use it. People are just the same. We need some time to get recharged.

Introverts recharge themselves by being alone. Introverts enjoy that. I, for one, am an introvert. Thanks to that book I mentioned earlier, I can say that I am not crazy cos sometimes I like to spend time being alone; reading books/articles, listening to some music or simply staying still enjoying my free time. Because I am built like that therefore I don’t see being “alone” as a problem. It’s something fun for me because I get to recharge my battery before I get back to my activities.

Extroverts are different. They recharge themselves by being on the crowd, meeting people. They are the people people. You may have friends who will always ask you to accompany them to go anywhere. Oh, wait, that’s me, you said. Extroverts like people in most of the circumstances. Unlike introverts who may get tired when they spend too much time around many people, extroverts don’t. They relish that! So now you see what I mean. As extroverts will feel tortured spending their recharging time at home reading or watching something, introverts will feel tortured when they are forced to spend all their time with people and not given any time to recharge themselves.

But just because I think I am introvert doesn’t mean that I am gonna spend my whole time glued to a book or go to some place secluded to be a hermit. No. I believe that no one is built to be fully introvert or fully extrovert. We’ll have moments that we are more of an introvert and moments where are more of an extrovert. A balance in handling that is needed.

Now, let’s go back to the question on the title. So why is being alone actually a good thing? This is not to say, it’s only a good thing for introverts because you know, they enjoy it as recharging time. No, not really. It’s good for everyone regardless of the personality.

Why spending some time being alone is a good thing? Because it’s the time to recalibrate with our inner self. It is the perfect time to recheck if we have the right priorities in life. It is the time to see if every thing that has been going on is in line with who we are, with the values that we have. It’s very noisy these days. Mobile phone is that source of noise, most of the time. We don’t have time to have an internal conversation with ourselves because there are way many notifications or timeline to check on Path, Line, Facebook, Whatsapp, BBM, Twitter, etc.

“If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail”, that quote from Benjamin Franklin says it all. If we don’t stop and block the noise to start talking and listening to ourselves, we are walking ourselves into failure. Failure to what, you said. Failure to live our life to its full potential.




Unorthodox Spot-on

It all started by watching a TV Programme.

I just watched a TV Programme revealing something new to me about New York. It is about Jewish community in the Borough Park, Brooklyn. It has been known that New York has the largest Jewish community in the world outside Israel.

I live in a place where I don’t get to see Jewish people much. In fact, the place where I am living has always been predominantly inhabited by Moslem. Thus, this TV Programme successfully brought up something out of ordinary for me, humanely speaking, not religiously.

Hasidic Jews

Let’s get back to this TV Programme. The viewers, like myself was brought into a family in the area. They are Hasidic Jews, which is different with the Orthodox Jews. (Note: If you are willing to know more on the differences, you can hop on Google. I am not here to discuss or even confront people with their beliefs). The family is consisted of 1 husband, 1 wife with 6 kids. Hasidic Jews are pretty recognisable by the way they dressed, especially men. I have seen some in pictures and films too before this. They usually wear black attire with a hat, long sideburn and long beard. They are easy to spot in the crowd. While women are not that easy because they dress normally, aside from covering up some part of their body like collar bones. And what is pretty shocking to me is women are not allowed to show their hair in the public so they will always be wearing wigs wherever they are. And as if it is not shocking enough to me, husband and wife relationship can be publicly displayed. They are not allowed to touch each other unless in their own private bedroom. I like how this couple tried to explain to viewers the deep meaning behind this. It is that to appreciate the connection and to get in touch more with our souls than merely with physical contact.

This family doesn’t have any television and no internet connectivity at all. In fact, none of the kids living in the house has never watched TV. The eldest one (17 years old) mentioned that he saw a picture of a television before but never actually seen it in person. None of the family member ever heard of Beyonce, Miley Cyrus or even Mickey Mouse! But, you know what? They all seem really fulfilled. They spend their quality time with family and they have plenty of time for it. They enjoy each other’s company. In their spare time, they’ll read books and dance with each other!

This is amazing. With these days’ advanced technology and gadgets, people like this still exist. I personally can not take my hands off of any gadget or even Internet connectivity. Hell, I even use my laptop and Internet connection to get this blog through.

The wife mentioned about how she’s grateful with what she had at the moment. They don’t have the mainstream media making them feel inferior about themselves and being pushed to fulfil the so-called standard living. Human just won’t get any satisfaction that easily. There is always something more. And human has always been impulsive with new stuffs. She is right. I feel what she said right there. I love gadgets and Internet. In fact, I live and breathe them. There is always new suff coming. And when it comes out, suddenly you see yourself living insufficiently because lacking of that particular new stuff in life. But by seeing this Programme, I think something clearly needs to be mended.

Sense of fulfilment clearly comes from a realisation that we have had enough.